Mentoring is highly personalized to meet your unique needs and to help you achieve the aspirations you have as a mom seeking to inspire confidence and joy in your daughter.
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For the Do-It-Yourselfer, eCourses are perfect. These multimedia, action-oriented online courses will help you build the insight and skills to raise confident girls.
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My clients — even those who were a little hesitant — have loved meeting with other moms at a time and cozy space reserved for connecting, learning together, and, actually, laughing, too!
Hello! I’m Fran Hendrick
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
“I don’t want my daughter to struggle with confidence and anxiety issues. I want to learn what I can do to help her become strong and confident – and really have fun with her life.”
This is the concern – and the heartfelt wish — that moms so often share with me.
What I find both fascinating and empowering is that your daughter’s trust and confidence are not built by big actions and grand gestures; they’re actually built in the small moments of everyday life. Moments like when she’s late for school – or puts down her iPad to help her little brother with his spelling; says she hates what you’re having for dinner – or does her first headstand.
Believe it or not, these are the moments where what you say and do can make all the difference in building her confidence – or unintentionally eroding it. (And – by the way – what we generally think of as praise is likely to backfire completely!)
It’s easy to miss the opportunity in these moments, not because you don’t want to be there for her, but because you aren’t fully aware of what she needs from you. It’s easy to get discouraged and even feel powerless to help your daughter become less anxious and more assertive; or to help her persist at a hard task instead of feeling stupid and quitting in a storm of frustration. What you need is a lens that allows you to see things you couldn’t see before – along with the insight, tools, and a clear framework to know what to do or say.
And it’s so important! Confidence is not only a goal in its own right. Beyond that, a strong sense of self-confidence and self-worth provides lifelong protection against depression.
My Expertise lies in providing you with a step-by-step approach to inspire your daughter to:
When it comes to growing your daughter’s confidence, you have tremendous power – if you know how to use it. That power lies in the myriad encounters you have with her every day. Self-esteem, self-worth, and the bond you have with your daughter are cornerstones of confidence. Every interaction – including challenges and conflicts – stands to increase, decrease, or leave about the same her self-esteem, self-worth and that precious bond. I think of this as The Magic of Small Moments.
Persist at tough tasks
The ability to keep going when the learning curve is long can be a real challenge to self-worth. This is meltdown territory, and teaching your daughter to keep on keepin’ on when she’s having a hard time with something requires empathy, insight, and skill.
Bounce back from hurt
Girls learn resilience – the ability to bounce back from painful experiences, like failing a test or losing a friend – by being walked through their feelings and the process of regaining their balance. It’s a process that you can intentionally teach.
Depression doesn’t just sweep in from nowhere. There are almost always very clear triggers that, with knowledge and skills, you can and should teach your girls to recognize and manage.
Embrace her emotions
Your daughter learns from you whether or not her feelings — these vital parts of her Self — have a rightness about them, and this determines whether she embraces them or tries to suppress them. Being fully heard and understood helps her accept and love herself. Usually, when parents say something that chips away at their daughter’s confidence, it’s unintentional. It’s almost always because of fear, often the fear that her emotions will overwhelm her.
Handle stress & anxiety
When you’re able to convey a sense of calm and the message that things will be okay, your daughter, little by little, gains the ability to manage painful emotions on her own. Learning the ins and outs of being that anchor is something you can do.
Have solid self-worth
Girls so often believe that it’s their appearance or their grades or the way they please people that gives them value. This false equation sets them up for depression. It is your unwavering delight in your daughter – in good times and in bad — that allows her to believe that she is valuable no matter what — and from there springs a solid sense of self-worth.
Trust her own voice
I think of girls who freely and confidently express their feelings and opinions as “joyful rebels”. I often ask parents whether they’re certain they want a joyful rebel, because for girls to feel confident to speak when they’re away from home, they first have to have the experience with you, consistently, of having their beliefs and ideas heard, respected, and considered. That can be a tall order when your daughter disagrees with you.
Think for herself
Little kids are uninhibited about expressing their feelings. But it doesn’t take long, unfortunately, for them to find out that not going along with the crowd can result in being teased or rejected. In order to stand up to peer pressure, your daughter needs to experience consistently at home that her voice does matter, that disagreement doesn’t mean she no longer shines in your eyes.
Confide in you
I think most moms hope to be chosen as a mentor or confidante, but it’s not automatic. Experiences with you in the small moments of everyday life of being listened to, deeply understood, accepted, anchored, and structured lays the groundwork for that relationship to develop over time.
Love being a family
Where do we love to be? With people who enjoy us, are interested in us, respect us. When home is a place of gentle acceptance, predictability, and empathy; when you and your daughter are a team working for her best interest, her family can be her haven.
Joyfully be herself
To help her become exactly who she’s meant to be – that’s what it’s all about! Because that lays the foundation for joy, resilience, persistence, healthy relationships – all the things you want for your daughter. You really can gain the skills and insight to provide this her.
This is where Raising Confident Girls comes in. By taking a course, participating in a class with other moms who really get it, or through one-on-one mentoring, you can gain the knowledge, skills and insight to set your daughter on a positive, exhilarating path. It’s an exciting journey to set out on, and, in my experience a joyful one, too.
The Wildflower Approach
Imagine that you have been handed a seed and told that it was one-of-a-kind – the only one on the planet — and very, very valuable.
What would you do with this tiny precious package of potential? How would you wake it up and grow it?
Chances are, you would seek to discover — through trial and error — how much light, how much water, what kind of soil allowed it to thrive. It would not occur to you to accuse the seedling of being too sensitive to drought; of needing too much sunshine; far from it! Rather, you would take this seed that you have and do your very best to nurture it so that it can become the flower that is within it to be.
That’s what Raising Confident Girls is about. Whether that seed is yourself or whether it is your daughter, we work together here to find out how to create an environment where it can grow and thrive and bloom into the unique blossom it is meant to be. It is a sacred endeavor.
"This class helped me make tangible my dreams and goals for my relationship with my daughter. It gave me clear direction on how to develop the traits of the healthy relationship I want to establish and grow with my daughter - from the beginning! Through reflection, discussion, and constructive support, this course also helped me understand and make some peace with my relationship with my own mother."
Nena — new mom
"I can't put into words how much this class time has meant to me. It was a 'joyful' part of my week and I am so glad we are going to continue."
"I found this class to be an inspiring and empowering course. Fran is very insightful and shared practical advice and tools to help us moms feel more confident and productive in our relationship with our girls (& boys!). The course took place in a comfortable space and I felt safe sharing my thoughts and feelings with Fran and the small group of lovely moms."
“The ideas for hands on activities to use with my daughter were easy to implement and made big impact! I am also thrilled with the materials you provided –one which I have downloaded and saved –so that I can use them with my daughter as she grows and we meet and work on challenges together. The worksheets are timeless–I know they will be just as valuable will she is 10…. 13 or 18. Thank you!”
“Fran is an amazingly gifted professional with an unyielding commitment to each individual's ability (and right) to become who they were truly and uniquely meant to be. I have benefited tremendously from Fran's ability to listen to what I mean to say, and to gently ask the needed questions that will drive me to uncover what I really need .. and to clearly see the true options that exist, for me and for others. I wholeheartedly recommend Fran's services to individuals, groups and businesses who are committed to their own journey of self discovery.”